Pullin' The Old SwitchARoo
by AFunnyCrayola
Summary: 6th year, probably OotP spoilers, PG because I'm demented and this story makes no sense.
1. It Felt Like Bacon Grease

PULLIN' THE OLD SWITCH-A-ROO  
  
By AFunnyCrayola  
  
To start this story, you really need to understand how that magical day when my friends and I switched places with the Hogwarts gang started and ended. No, that's a lie. You don't. Muhahaha. I will tell you anyways.  
  
To me, it was just any normal day. I woke up 5 minutes before school, brushed my teeth, put my hair in a ponytail, and ran the 100 meters to school. I dashed into my French class 2 seconds before the bell rang, realized I had on my Beauty and the Beast nightgown, and sat down.  
  
"Bienvenue, classe," said Madame Oynett, looking rather depressed. There was no question why, if you looked around the class, it was basically filled with druggies who were probably high at the time they signed up for class. The one exception was the love of my life Jacob. I gazed at him longingly and he smiled at me but then looked scared. I realized I was staring. Oops.  
  
So the day dragged on like this, I moved from one boring class to another, until the bell finally rang. After hurriedly grabbing my backpack from my locker in the freshman hall, I practically ran to the Sophomore hall to look for Jacob (he'd started French a year later than me).  
  
"Jacob! Jacob!" I shouted in desperation, for he was leaving the hallway, and I really needed to talk to him. Again, that's a lie, but, I wanted to make conversation with him.  
  
He turned around and looked at me, calling, "Hey, Julia!"  
  
I looked at his dreamy self for a moment, and then shook it off. He seemed to have forgotten the staring incident in first hour and I didn't want him to be reminded.  
  
I approached him, and asked,  
  
"Is Mallory going to swimming tonight?" Mallory was his sister, and I knew she wasn't. I knew because Mallory is one of my best friends. Convenient, isn't it, that the guy I fall in love with is a good friend's sister? Mallory is a year younger than me and at a different school, so I could always ask questions about Mallory to have something to talk about with Jacob.  
  
Jacob shook his head.  
  
"No, we've both got soccer practice tonight, we're coming tomorrow though."  
  
"Great. Well, I gotta run, but I'll see ya tomorrow!" "Shoud I call and wake you up?" Jacob teased.  
  
I just laughed but secretly wished he would.  
  
At about 6:05 that night, I walked into the pool for swimming practice(late as usual, but my coach was too, luckily) to find Jacob and Mallory sitting on the ground next to three of my other best friends, Lauren and Natalie Wickmann, and Danielle Simpson.  
  
Lauren and Jacob, who were in the same grade, were talking about their biology essay, and Natalie, Danielle and Mallory- all eighth graders- were discussing the upcoming middle school dance.  
  
I sat down next to Jacob and immediately jumped up.  
  
"Eww, eww, wet butt," I shouted.  
  
Everybody laughed at me as I craned my neck around to examine my derriere.  
  
"I don't know, I think it might be a good look," I commented facetiously, joining the four in their laughter.  
  
I removed my pants (calm down, I had a swim suit on!), stuffed them in my bag and withdrew a towel. Spreading it out on the ground, I looked at Jacob, and said questioningly,  
  
"Hey, I thought you weren't coming tonight...?"  
  
"Soccer practice got rained out," explained Mallory.  
  
"That sucks," I said to her.  
  
"You're telling us," said Jacob.  
  
"Oi!" I yelled at Natalie, using a term I'd picked up from Mallory and Jacob, who used to live in England.  
  
"Why are you yelling?" she yelled back from 5 feet away.  
  
"I don't know.." I said. I really didn't.  
  
Then, I put on a steely face, and asked her,  
  
"How far are you?" She pretended like she didn't know what I was talking about.  
  
"In what?" she asked.  
  
"Don't give me that! How far are you?" I said, cracking a smile.  
  
"Page 309.." she said.  
  
"You should be ashamed! I'm outraged at this lack of reading!" I was, of course, talking about the great, the one, the only, the mystical, the wonderful, the superb, the breathtaking, the brilliant (you get the picture) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  
  
"I don't want to read in the summer!" she protested. I gave her a Look and smiled.  
  
"When we get back in school, you'd best be reading your arse off!"  
  
But she couldn't answer because my coach finally got there and yelled at us to shut up and stretch.  
  
I gave him an incredulous look and muttered, "He's the one who's just arrived.."  
  
Jacob nodded in my direction, and I did this funky thing I do with my head for effect and rolled my eyes. He grinned.  
  
So it wasn't just an average day, it was a pretty good day.  
  
But then we got in the water, and not only was it really hot and hard to swim in, the chlorinator pump had broken so there was way more chlorine than necessary. It felt like you were swimming in bacon grease. I told Jacob this, and he agreed with me. Mike, our coach, started us out on eight 100s alternating strokes. We all complained about it sufficiently and then left. I was halfway down the pool during my first breastroke (my worst stroke, and Jacob- Jacob and Jules are in the stars) 100 when I swallowed a ton of water. I stopped and then decided it would be funny to spit the water at Lauren. She also decided this was funny, and spit some at Natalie, who had stopped because of me. At this point in time, there was a huge traffic jam in my lane and it was causing a jam in Jacob's as well. I was delighted, and spit water at him playfully. He grinned and did it back. Just then, Mallory came up from behind me and joined in on the fun, spitting some at Danielle, who spit right back at her. We continued in this way for another minute before Mike noticed. "GO!" He screamed. Somehow, we kinda thought the look of rage on his face meant he was serious that he wanted to stop our fun, so I said quietly, "he's going in after practice," to the others and then resumed my breastroke. After another hour of practice, Mike called it a night. As he was leaning in and unhooking the lane rope, Lauren, Natalie, Danielle, Mallory, Jacob and I seized our chance and pushed him in.  
  
"Muhahahahahahahahaha! I got you now, because, despite the fact that we wouldn't have been able to do that at a real practice, I, the authoress, control this universe!" Mike laughed goodheartedly and we all grinned at him and helped him out of the pool. Here's the part where you should start to PAY ATTENTION. Suddenly, I felt a odd sensation coming over me, as if I was floating. I looked down and saw that I was, in fact, floating. Not only that, Lauren, Danielle, Natalie, Mallory, Jacob and Mike were floating with me.  
  
"What's going on?" shouted Mallory.  
  
"Help!" yelled Lauren.  
  
"This is wicked cool!" I shouted.  
  
Everyone stared at me.  
  
"Oh, right, I forgot. We're floating in the air and have no way to get down. HELP!"  
  
But we seemed to be invisible to everyone else, because no one even looked in our direction. Then, there was a WHOOSH and I found myself in a very odd room.  
  
"A very odd room indeed," said Lauren, as if she could read my mind. All of us nodded, and then noticed that there were other people in the room that were looking at us funny.  
  
"Hey. I know where we are." said Danielle knowingly.  
  
"Me too!" I said excitedly.  
  
"The Gryffindor Common Room!" we said in unison. Everyone stared at us as if we were psychos.  
  
I looked down at my clothes quickly. Robes. Just as I had suspected.  
  
"We've switched places," I said quietly.  
  
Danielle, who was a H.P. fan (but not a fanatic like me, she doesn't write fantasy fanfiction) as well, nodded.  
  
"I think I'm Ron. You're Ginny," she said, looking at Mallory.  
  
"I'm Hermione," I said slowly, "and- aww, cool! You're Professor Snape, Mike!" I said a little too loudly.  
  
Some Gryffindors looked over.  
  
"Yea. what are you doing here?" said one to Mike.  
  
Mike was befuddled. He had made the mistake of not reading the books.  
  
"Well, I'm a prefect," said Danielle, acting on her toes, "and I say it's okay for him to be here."  
  
The younger, questioning student looked confused but relented and went back to his chess.  
  
I continued.  
  
"Jacob, you're Harry, you lucky duck. Natalie, you're-"  
  
"Professor McGonnagall," she said, completing my sentence. "Cool. Good luck teaching Transfiguration." Her eyes widened.  
  
"Haha," I cackled.  
  
She glared at me.  
  
Finally, I turned to Lauren. I wasn't sure who he was.  
  
"Hey!" I shouted at the rest of the common room.  
  
"Who is this?" I said, picking him up. Katie Bell gave me an eye. I realized how weird this was. But hey. I needed to know.  
  
"WELL?" I asked, when I got no response. "I'M A PREFECT, TELL ME!"  
  
"It's Neville Longbottom." piped up Colin Creevey.  
  
"OF COURSE!" I said. "I mean. I had too much sugar."  
  
Then it hit me.  
  
"I know why we switched!" I whispered to the others slyly.  
  
"We figured it out too!" said Jacob. He must have been the mastermind behind it, he was very intelligent and gorgeous.  
  
"CHLORINE!" we all shouted. 


	2. Meanwhile, Back at My RanchStyle Home

A/N: Please enjoy my insanity! ( Bizz, ya'll  
  
((The time difference between London and the story is 6 or 7 hours, I'm not sure where the story is set))  
  
CHAPTER TWO: MEANWHILE, BACK AT MY RANCH-STYLE HOME  
  
Harry Potter was having a very nice dream. In this dream, he was riding in a hot air balloon. Standing next to him were Ron and Hermione, and Professors McGonagall and Snape were 'co-captains' of the balloon. Ginny and Neville stood next to Hermione, and Ginny was chatting with Hermione quietly. In all their beds, the above characters, created by the great JKR and not me I don't own my friends for that matter, were having the same dream.  
  
Suddenly, Harry was jolted awake from this dream. Apparently, the hot air balloon had crashed. He rubbed his eyes groggily, and reached for his glasses on his nightstand. He groped around for a moment before realizing that either a) the nightstand had been moved or b) he wasn't in his bed.  
  
Nervously, he opened his eyes. Everything was blurred, but he could definitely tell that something was wrong. For one, he was looking at a pool. For another thing, he was in a totally sexy ((..umm..sorry, Me should stop interrupting)) body. For another, someone had just called him Jacob.  
  
"Uh. hi." he said. The person who had called him stared for a moment, but then left.  
  
"Oh dear Merlin what's going on?" said Harry.  
  
"Did you just say Merlin?" asked a girl sitting next to him.  
  
"Yes." said Harry suspiciously.  
  
"What's your name?" asked the girl.  
  
"Harry Potter," he said calmly. No one would recognize him here.  
  
Or so he thought.  
  
To his great surprise, the girl's eyes lit up in wonder.  
  
"It's Ginny, Harry! And. Professor Snape?" she asked ((coincidently, my friend also has red hair. This was not planned, actually)), pointing at a large man wearing Muggle clothes who was completely drenched.  
  
He nodded, baring his fangs. "What is the meaning of this?" said an unfamiliar voice, but the tone and words were very familiar. They came from a tiny girl with long brown hair and tan skin.  
  
"Professor McGonagall!" said a girl next to Harry. He turned to look at her.  
  
"Hey, you're incredibly hot!" he said. ((A/N: Yea, that's me complimenting myself.))  
  
"Harry?" asked Hermione, who was in the body of a girl with long blonde hair, fair skin and blue eyes.  
  
"Yea, Hermione," said Harry, flushing. "Now where's Ron?" he asked quickly.  
  
"Right here," came a miserable voice. Harry turned around to see someone very tall, with blondish-brown, short and curly hair, grayish-blue eyes. This someone was a very pretty girl.  
  
"Oh, no, Ron!" cried Hermione.  
  
"Apparently the people we switched places with didn't have the same number of guys has us because J.K.R. has created a predominately male story!" Hermione said in distress.  
  
Ron looked glum for a moment, and then suddenly, his eyes lit up as if he had seen a root beer float sitting next to a Milky Way, some real Belgian chocolate, and a bag of brown sugar. Oh, and French Berry Lemonade imported from France. Back to the real story.  
  
"What are you so excited about?" asked Harry smugly. Harry always the best. he had the nicest body, he noted, his teachers all loved him deep down, he got all kinds of items other students didn't get, teachers loved him, students wanted to be him.  
  
"I can hear a real girl conversation! WHAT do they talk about?"  
  
Suddenly, Harry was envious. He leaned in to punch Ron in the nose.  
  
"WHOA!" shouted a voice.  
  
"Shutup! I always get what I want!" called Harry. "I can be mean and angsty and stuff when I shouldn't be and people take pity on me!"  
  
"What's up with you Jake?" came the voice, which belonged to a rather good- looking, average height boy.  
  
"Jake?" said Harry, confused. "Oh right. I was just kidding."  
  
"You tried to punch Danielle!"  
  
"Danielle. Nice name," said Ron.  
  
The boy looked at him funny, while the rest nodded their agreement.  
  
"Right.I don't know what's up with you guys, but I'll leave you alone." and the boy left.  
  
"Well," said Ginny when the dark-haired boy was out of earshot, "there's one girl left," she said, nodding at a short girl with shoulder-length dark brown hair.  
  
"Who are you?" asked Hermione.  
  
"It's me, Neville!"  
  
No one really cared about Neville in the books, then no one felt bad that he was a girl. Snape, however, felt angry.  
  
"Neville? Why is he with us?" asked Professor Snape.  
  
"Nevermind that. let's try and find out our names! This will be a great learning experience, we should make the most of our time!" said Hermione excitedly.  
  
"Hermione! You lived as a Muggle for eleven years!" said Harry, annoyed at Hermione's over-excitedness at learning.  
  
"I'm gonna kill you! You killed my dog!" shouted Ron.  
  
No one gave him a second glance.  
  
Hermione reached for her wand.  
  
"Oh, good Lord. We don't have wands. I guess we'll just have to use these seven sticks of about 12 inches each conveniently located near my foot. Here, repeat after me."  
  
"Noecrim!" she said firmly. Instantly, her name appeared.  
  
"Julia Grantham! How pretty."  
  
Professors McGonagall, who is infinitely better and always goes first, and Snape then gave it a go. Wait, shouldn't they have taught the spell? Nevermind, Hermione knows everything. WAIT! She didn't know who Nicholas Flamel was. ::taps fingers::.  
  
Anyways.  
  
Out of Pro' McGeeeeeee's wand shout out a few letters, piecing together as Mariesa Welton.  
  
"Natalie," said Professor McGonagall, with a French accent.  
  
"That's a hot accent Minerva," said Professor Snape sexily. Everyone stared.  
  
"What are you looking at?" growled Professor Snape.  
  
The body-switchers shuddered, and looked at the letters from Professor Snape's wand.  
  
"Mike. What a name. For a washed out Muggle."  
  
((A/N: This is a lovely name, it just seemed characteristic of Snape.))  
  
"Well, give it a go, Ginny," said Harry, turning to the girl with reddish hair. Not quite as fiery as Ginny's, Harry liked it fiery.  
  
Ginny muttered the spell, "Noecrim," and waited for the letters to appear.  
  
"Mallory!" she said, jumping up and down.  
  
"I've ALWAYS wanted that name!" she cried happily.  
  
Hermione smiled faintly. She was jealous, she wanted the name Mallory too. Everyone wants the name Mallory, it's really cool.  
  
Then she shook her head, and said,  
  
"Okay, Neville, go. You're the last person to figure out your name because, thus far in the series, you have been one of the most mentioned characters who is least important, despite the fact that you seem to have improved at the end of the 5th book. But you are still whiny and a bit 5-year-oldish."  
  
Neville cried, and then said the spell. Out popped his name.  
  
"Lauren. hey, nice name, if I do say so myself."  
  
Everyone glared at him. ((Don't get me wrong, I really don't hate Neville. Just showcasing how much he is ignored and how everyone is mean to him in the book. Except Dean, sorta. And he's nice to everyone, ya know?))  
  
"Hey, guys, could you get outta here?" asked a lifeguard who had appeared behind them. "I need to lock up, and practice ended an hour ago.."  
  
"What practice?" asked all of them in unison.  
  
"Um, whatever. Just leave, okay?"  
  
The septlet-group ((If I write it, it's a word!)) looked around, and started wandering about aimlessly.  
  
"HEY! HERE'S THE EXIT!" said Ron excitedly ten minutes later.  
  
The lifeguard was looking very amused.  
  
A/N:  
  
Okay, if anyone's reading:  
  
Ya'll can help me make decisions.  
  
Here's the pairings I was thinking: Ginny/Neville, Hermione/Harry (I'm partial to HG/R though) and McG/Snape. which is not really definite.  
  
Also, do you want Draco? I kinda forgot him, so if ya want him, he can magically be transported here. If he was, he would be the womanizer.  
  
Thank you for reading!!!  
  
Mere 


End file.
